The Marriage Gap
By: Stanley Rosner Ph.D and Laura Hobe
David McKay Company, Inc. New York, 1974
Stanley Rosner, Ph.D. is a past president of the Connecticut Psychological Association, makes his home with his wife and family in Stamford, CT, and practices nearby. A good deal of his practice is in marital counseling.
A Psychologist probes the divorce explosion and comes up with some surprising thoughts about why marriages are breaking apart (and why some donít have to but others should).
Why do some marriages work wonderfully and others not at all? The Marriage Gap tells us, and among the questions it answers are:
How can I recognize a good marriage?
How do I know if Iím ready for marriage?
How do I know if Iím ready for divorce?
If Iím not ready to marry, what else can I do?
Is there something wrong with me if I donít want to marry?
Is marriage obsolete?
Why do some marriages seem to thrive on new situations, while others resist change and stifle growth?
Why do so many people seem to marry the ďwrongĒ person?
Some people stay married for the strangest reasons Ė what are they?
Why did the class sexpot marry Caspar Milquetoast?
Why is it impossible for some people to be faithful in marriage?
Why is the Marriage Gap getting wider?
This book comes right out and says that marriage is good for people Ė providing people are good for marriage. Sometimes they arenít.
Nobody ever forced marriage on the human race. It grew out of our human need for closeness, love, intimacy and a sense of belonging. Even though our world has changed a lot since time began, this human need is very much the same. Why, then, are so many marriages breaking down?
If you and your spouse are mature, if youíre in touch with your feelings and know what you really want from each other, you should have a happy marriage. But what if you arenít? What if you both are still searching for a mother or father instead of a wife or husband? Or what if you think youíve found a mother or a father in your mate? Then youíre in trouble. And so is your marriage. Thereís a gap between what you and your mate want from each other and what you can really get.
Why, for instance, does the sexpot marry the iceberg? Do some wives encourage their husbands to play around so they can complain about sleeping alone? Do some men deliberately marry frigid women just to be unfaithful to them? Would some couples rather hurt, hate and frustrate than love, honor and obey?
When husbands and wives are unhappy together, does that mean marriage is to blame? Would these men and women be better off if they just lived together in a different kind of relationship? Or would they run into the same old hang-ups because only the scenery has changed and not the people? The Marriage Gap answers these questions.
Can you face the truth about yourself, your mate, your marriage? This book does. In a lively, down-to-earth style, through dozens of case histories of marriages ranging from good to bad to miserable, the authors explore the reasons why men and women marry. And in these reasons youíll find the clues to why some marriages work and some donít.